Okay - For all you fucking skeptics out there, here is an ACTUAL PICTURE OF JOHN FRED! He’s, uh, holding a crawfish. I’m pretty sure that’s either a starfish or a barbequed puppy at the bottom of the picture.

Okay - For all you fucking skeptics out there, here is an ACTUAL PICTURE OF JOHN FRED! He’s, uh, holding a crawfish. I’m pretty sure that’s either a starfish or a barbequed puppy at the bottom of the picture.

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HEY WHOA!!!! There are actually people out there who never heard of JUDY IN DISGUISE!!! Okay, so I screwed up and I didn’t actually record the Swiss Mountain Boys when they played Judy in Disguise on their Alphorns, but here is the actual ORGINAL, as play by John Fred and his Playboy Band back in 1967 or something.

So then after we played in the Haag and Duseldork, which I can’t hardly remember except that I was god-awful in the Haag, so the less said about that the better, we went to SWITZERLAND! As soon as we got there we were serenaded by some local musicians who wanted to know if they could be our opening act - NO SHIT! Well, of course, Bob and me were pretty tempted, but the stage was really tiny and we figured they would probably knock over all our stuff with those giant horns and all. For the audition, they played Judy in Disguise - it was WAY COOL!

So then after we played in the Haag and Duseldork, which I can’t hardly remember except that I was god-awful in the Haag, so the less said about that the better, we went to SWITZERLAND! As soon as we got there we were serenaded by some local musicians who wanted to know if they could be our opening act - NO SHIT! Well, of course, Bob and me were pretty tempted, but the stage was really tiny and we figured they would probably knock over all our stuff with those giant horns and all. For the audition, they played Judy in Disguise - it was WAY COOL!

And here it is… I looked out of the bus and there it was… THE VIEW FROM NOWHERE!!! I mean am I telling it like it is or what? HEY!!! I’m pretty much of an expert on nowhere, having spent quite a bit of my life there and THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!!! But we didn’t get kidnapped there… just diesel fuel.

And here it is… I looked out of the bus and there it was… THE VIEW FROM NOWHERE!!! I mean am I telling it like it is or what? HEY!!! I’m pretty much of an expert on nowhere, having spent quite a bit of my life there and THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!!! But we didn’t get kidnapped there… just diesel fuel.

So after we played in Ghent (or maybe before - I forget) we had to get gas for the bus and Michael, the round and friendly German driver who had a huge bushy beard long before they were trendy - said his boss made him buy gas (diesel actually) at this gas station in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it was down this dirt road in stupid butt fuck Belgium or some place. I thought we were being kidnapped except that Michael is about as nice a kidnapper as you could ever hope for… and stuff. Whatever.

So after we played in Ghent (or maybe before - I forget) we had to get gas for the bus and Michael, the round and friendly German driver who had a huge bushy beard long before they were trendy - said his boss made him buy gas (diesel actually) at this gas station in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it was down this dirt road in stupid butt fuck Belgium or some place. I thought we were being kidnapped except that Michael is about as nice a kidnapper as you could ever hope for… and stuff. Whatever.

Hey Everybody! I’m still here in the hotel in Brittany, which is pretty much like France as far as I can tell. I’m not exactly sure why they call it that since the English seem to have gotten to that name first but what do I know. Maybe the name started here then British stole it and somehow it wound up with Britney Spears - bummer.

Hey Everybody! I’m still here in the hotel in Brittany, which is pretty much like France as far as I can tell. I’m not exactly sure why they call it that since the English seem to have gotten to that name first but what do I know. Maybe the name started here then British stole it and somehow it wound up with Britney Spears - bummer.

AND HERE WE ARE ON STAGE!!!!
(Photo Credit: CreepingMacKroki - great job, dude!)

AND HERE WE ARE ON STAGE!!!!

(Photo Credit: CreepingMacKroki - great job, dude!)

And… TAA!! TAA!! Here he is the ONE AND ONLY CHUCK in the dressing room right before the show started!!!

And… TAA!! TAA!! Here he is the ONE AND ONLY CHUCK in the dressing room right before the show started!!!

HEY! So this is me!!! Just before going on stage for the first show in Ghent, which is still in Belgium and stuff…

HEY! So this is me!!! Just before going on stage for the first show in Ghent, which is still in Belgium and stuff…

Okay, so this is the stage in Ghent - which is in Belgium for all you maroons who never leave your fucking computers and hardy go the bathroom and only eat peanut butter sandwiches - where we played the first show. We were setting up to play in this WAY COOL THEATER!!!

Okay, so this is the stage in Ghent - which is in Belgium for all you maroons who never leave your fucking computers and hardy go the bathroom and only eat peanut butter sandwiches - where we played the first show. We were setting up to play in this WAY COOL THEATER!!!