Okay, here’s the latest Old and Young babe from Lenny. Her name is Mandy, uh, Mandy Mushrooms, but HEY!, I’m pretty sure that’s not her real name - I just wanted to be clear on that. Anyway, Lenny says Mandy used to be in the circus before she got in the porn biz. I guess that explains the elephant, or something. I’m not so sure about this porn stuff.
(Okay, so I’m back in LA now. I don’t know if I’m cured or not, but I keep thinking about stuff and have the feeling that some kind of epiphany or whatever is about to descend upon me. I hope so - this shit is getting old. Meanwhile, here’s another character and some text from my SUPER COOL AND FORTHCOMING Bad Day on the Midway book.)
Desperately searching for his missing rat, Otto approaches the Sperm Whale Giving Birth to an Electric Eel exhibit. While he and Ike were never close, a certain bond still existed between the two carnies and that was the bond of the con. The fluid nature of truth, a lesser-held value than greed or profit, is a fact of life in the world of the carnival. The means of securing a sucker’s attention, stirring his imagination, and lightening the load of his purse is much more esteemed than the morality involved. Virtue meant getting away with it, pure and simple. In this regard, Otto and Ike were blood brothers, with Otto easily the lesser of the two. The rat game’s owner was totally in awe of Ike’s willingness to stretch plausibility, support this fantasy with style, and keep the rubes coming back, and as far as Otto was concerned the Sperm Whale exhibit may have been Ike’s masterpiece.
I don’t know. I mean, it seems like I HAVE to do something, but people kept saying I looked like the FUCKING TAN MOM! I mean, c’mon… is that fair? …I don’t know.
I don’t know. I spent a lot time thinking about this over the weekend. I mean, yeah, the race change thing worked okay for MJ, but he’s dead. Not much to be said for that. I don’t know.
RACE CHANGE OPERATION!
Okay, so I started thinking - who is successful in the music business these days? RAP SINGERS! That’s who. I mean if you think about it, it’s kind of a perfect fit for me. I can’t sing - rap singers can’t sing. Basically they are actors who have figured how to make big bucks in the music biz, which is pretty much what i am except of course for the big bucks part. (Did you ever see Ice Cube in “Anaconda?” I mean the guy is a natural.) But there is a slight problem with this scenario - rap singers are BLACK! (except of course for for Vanilla Ice or the Beastie Boys, but they are posers posing as posers so there’s no reason to go there), but then it hit me - A RACE CHANGE OPERATION! After all - Michael Jackson did it. So, it’s the new me - MC RANDY BRANDO! …but then no, I realized that’s too white. Not only that, people would think I’m an old fat white guy instead of just old. So I thought about it a little more and WHAMMO!!! It hit me! Get ready everybody, you are now dealing with the one and only - MC Cocky Ran-!D!
(Cocky Ran-!D! photo by Josh Keppel)